The needs of a child with ADHD can overwhelm families and make home life chaotic — but they don’t have to. You can use strategies to influence and focus your child’s behavior and get positive results.

Believe in and support your child.

• Recognize everything that is positive, valuable, and unique about your child.
• Trust that your child can learn, change, mature, and succeed. Nurture your child’s talents; find the aspects of ADHD that are positive and build on them. Today’s dreamer may be the next great writer or architect.
• Let your child make mistakes and learn from them, but be there for comfort when mistakes cause pain.
• Promote a healthy self-esteem by nurturing the skills your child needs and communicating your unwavering love, approval, and support.

Keep things in perspective.

• Remember, your child’s behavior is related to a disorder. Most of the time it is not intentional.
• Hold on to your sense of humor. What’s embarrassing today may be a funny family story ten years from now.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff. One chore left undone isn’t a big deal when your child has completed two others plus the day’s homework.
• Be willing to make some compromises. If you’re a perfectionist or someone who prizes order and decorum, you may need to make some changes.

Take care of yourself.

• Look after your own health, and find ways to reduce stress.
• Find the support you need and take advantage of it.
• Cut yourself some slack if your child with ADHD doesn’t become a model child overnight; you’re a parent, not a magician.

Work on your child’s ADHD every day.

• Be clear and concise when talking to your child. Give instructions one step at a time and make requests one at a time.
• Be consistent. What you expect one day should be what you expect every day. Don’t give in if you’re tired or your child is nagging.
• Set a good example. Show your child the behaviors you’d like to see. Be a model of patience, healthy habits, and good manners. Be at least as organized as you want your child to be.
• Anticipate and avoid problems. Know your child’s triggers and what situations lead to problems.
• Praise good behavior. “Catch your child being good.”
• Be open to what your child has to say.
• Pick your battles. If you don’t, your home will be one of constant conflict and criticism.

Improve your communication skills.

• Go up to your child and make direct eye contact before giving an instruction.
• Check for understanding. Say something like: “Tell me what I want you to do.”
• Give verbal directions one at a time, not in a long list.
• Encourage your child to talk through a situation rather than just plunging in.
• Go over the steps in a procedure before and during activities, including those you and your child do together.
• Express expectations such as a chore chart or a checklist in written or visual form as well as verbally.

Maintain structure in your home.

• Establish solid routines for morning and evening.
• Keep your child busy with scheduled, supervised activities, but don’t pile on so many that the child is overwhelmed.
• Insufficient sleep makes attention problems worse, so insist that your child have a regular bedtime and enough rest.
• Make sure your child has a quiet, private space of his or her own, even if it’s just a table with a blanket thrown over it.
• Plan ahead to make sure your child doesn’t become too tired or hungry during outings. Review rules on behavior beforehand.
• Make sure other caregivers are familiar with daily routines and behavioral goals and they adhere to them.
• Organize your home: a place for everything and everything in its place.
• Have your child lay out clothes for the next morning before going to bed. Make sure that what your child needs to take to school is ready to go and in a special place.
• Put clocks throughout the house, with a big one in your child’s bedroom.
• Allow enough time for what your child needs to do, such as homework or getting ready in the morning.